My first memorable “little lady” experience was in high school. I already knew how to cook and sew, so when I had to choose a “practical” elective I convinced the school to let me take night classes in wood shop and auto shop. Lesson one was changing the oil. I took the cap off the oil pan and drained it as instructed. When it came time to put it back on, I asked the teacher how hard I should tighten it. He laughed and patted my shoulder: “A little lady like you? Tighten it just as hard as you can and then I’ll come after you and finish it up.” I did, and stripped the cap. Score one for the “little lady.”
My second memorable “LL” experience was buying a car. I was in my early 20s and driving an old Honda that belched black smoke every time I started it. I inherited a bit of money from my grandmother and decided, finally, to buy a new one (thanks Gamma!) My dad offered to go with me but I really, really, really wanted to do it myself. I tried several dealerships and at each got the “Well little lady let me just go in the back and talk to my manager…” treatment, and no one would give me a decent price. Finally I made a date with my dad to go shopping but that night on the way home from work I decided I’d give it one last shot. I walked into a dealership in South San Francisco and when the salesman came over to me I said “Hi, I know exactly what I want and I am ready to trade in this hunk of junk and drive a new car off the lot tonight but if you call me “little lady” I will walk out.” What a difference! I drove off that night in a very reasonably priced shiny black Mazda hatchback, which I loved and drove happily for years until we moved to Tennessee, where the lack of air conditioning manifested itself as a significant drawback and I sold it to a German exchange student who smelled so bad already he didn’t care. Anyway.
Fast forward a number of years and you’d think sales people would have learned something, right? You’d be wrong.
With our slab
When we bought our walnut slab at Anderson’s Alternatives (a very cool place you should visit should you ever find yourself in Mendocino – covered in Adventures in wood, part 1), they told me the best way to strip the fuzzy bark off the natural edge was a wire brush that attaches to an electric drill. My first stop was Home Depot. I found the category, but there were lots of choices, so I waited for the tool salesman to be free and asked him. He looked me up and down and said, “Well, here they are, but little lady, don’t you think that’s a little dangerous for you?”
Thought Bubble: ”Um – this is the 21st century; don’t you think saying that might be a little dangerous for YOU?”
At our neighborhood Ace Hardware, where they have everything and are super helpful and encouraging and would never, ever DREAM of “LLing” anyone, I bought two wire brushes attached to drill bits and a ton of sandpaper.
It took me several hot, dusty, sweaty afternoons and three packages of coarse sandpaper to get the walnut slab to where I wanted it. I experimented with the wire brushes on the edge. They work pretty well to strip the bark, but they leave a lot of visible scratches, which then need to be sanded out. And the knots that make the slab so cool were killer – they literally took hours to sand down.
Close up of knot, with visitor
But gradually, it took shape, and it was gorgeous.
Many packs of sandpaper later...
Three coats of satin Marine Spar Varnish later, I loved it so much I didn’t even want to carry it back to Home Depot and beat that salesman over the head with it. But I thought about it.
Our walnut bar
My most memorable LL experience was driving alone over Donner Pass in a snowstorm and having to put on my chains. I was kneeling in the slush, soaking wet, wrestling with them, when a voice behind me drawled “Need any help with that, little lady?” I turned and saw this tall, lanky trucker silhouetted against his semi’s headlights walking towards me. I was twenty-something at the time and game to prove myself, so I declined and finished the miserable job myself. Of course, I’m older and smarter now, and should the same ever happen again I will definitely say “Yes, thank you!” Some things are worth it.
Grrr, the little lady routine makes my hackles rise. I get it every single time I get my oil changed and any time I’m in the electrical department at the hardware store. “Do you need help finding the garden department?”
Good on you for showing them!